A Celebration of Lucy's Life

On Tuesday, May 24, 2011, we celebrated Lucy's life. The funeral was just breathtaking and looking back on it, I don't know how it all came together.  The plants, the flowers, the photos, Lucy's blanket, her "Little Sister" onesie she wore at the hospital, her baby shoes from our maternity photo session, everything was in its place.  My sister brought Lucy 19 long stemmed white roses, simply elegant. We displayed her footprints and handprints in a white frame that now hangs in our bedroom. Little memories of our tiny dancer spread throughout the chapel. Over the past week Eric and I have just been going through the motions, its all still so surreal. Our family and friends have been amazing through all of this. Your support has gotten us through some hard days. I hadn't even thought of this until writing this blog, but the day of her funeral would have marked her 38th week. Tuesdays have been so symbolic for us, standing for another week that Lucy defied the odds. It's on this 38th Tuesday that we celebrate our daughter, dancing with her Father in Heaven. Dance on, my tiny dancer, my sweet girl, you are all healed and safe and we will be with you again.

Pastor John Davis from our church officiated the ceremony. He made this a beautiful service. His message spoke to our hearts and although we are so saddened that we were at a funeral for our infant daughter, his words were so comforting and it was absolutely perfect. 

Two of our friends, Ben Donnelly and Gretchen Griffin each sang for our sweet Lucy. Gretchen sang Chris Tomlin- I Will Rise, and Ben sang, David Crowder- How He Loves. I dont know how they managed to get through this. I couldnt even watch them without crying, so I have no idea how they got the words out and sang so beautifully.  Eric and I were both so touched that they would do this, they are both talented and amazing and an absolute joy to hear their gifts as they are glorifying God. This was also so fitting for our Lucy because one of the memories we will always have of Lucy was how she danced about when she would hear the praise and worship belting through our church. My baby girl, praising Jesus since day one.

Friendswood Police Department, thank you for showing your support and for arranging everything for the procession. It is an honor to work with such great men and women and it was a wonderful feeling to have your support during this time.  Thank you Lisa, and Mrs. Patro for designing and dedicating a gorgeous piece of jewelry from Ace's line for our Lucy. Words cannot express, really.

Greg and Pauletta Jeter, Jeter Funeral Home, and Scott with Forest Park Cemetary East, thank you for making this service special and unique to our Lucia Faith. Thank you for being so kind during this difficult time and for honoring all of our wishes for our sweet girl. You all were so wonderful to us.  

Our church contacted us over the weekend after Lucy passed. I couldnt bring myself to make it to church that Sunday morning, so we watched service online at home. Sometime after 2nd or 3rd service my phone rings and its from the church. Keri Oujeski from our church contacted us to arrange for a reception to be held following the funeral/burial. We hadnt even thought this far yet. Well, we did, but we just didnt know how or where, or what we were going to do, so her phone call was a blessing, complete with perfect timing. A ministry within our church "Our Daily Bread", planned out a complete reception. The ministry is made up of volunteers who each bring a dish and there are others who were there to serve and clean up afterwards. We had no idea this ministry existed within our church, and we told Keri right then and there, she officially had 2 new members on her team. The biggest gift of all of it was for as long as I can remember, anytime there has been a family gathering, my mom and all of her siblings, or Eric's mom and all of her siblings, were running around and gathering, pouring, changing, cleaning, packaging, serving, running, going...going...going... and never got a chance to visit or breathe! I remember very little about the day of the funeral, or the burial, or the reception. But I remember standing in front of a large table filled with my mom and her siblings and yet another with Eric's family and both tables- they were laughing, comforting, enjoying each other. Thank you, New Hope Church for giving us that gift. 

There are so many people I want to thank, and so many things I want to share, but the central key is this: In some way or another you honored my Lucy, and you touched my family's heart by your prayers, your gestures, your thoughts, your kind words, your poetry, your sentiments. We are forever grateful that you are here with us on this journey, and we want to you know we love you, and He loves you. 

Thank you.

 

This is the video we shared at her funeral, and we wanted to share it with you. The song used in this video is by Selah, and the song is titled, "I Will Carry You". It is written by Angie and Todd Smith. The song is about their daughter Audrey, with a story very similar to Lucy's.

Lucy's Birthday

On the morning of May 19th our sweet Lucia Faith was born and lived a glorious 19 minutes until she took her last breath in mommy and daddy’s arms. This is longer than any doctor expected her to be here, and we are so grateful for that priceless time that will stay in our hearts forever.  We are so thankful that our family was able to meet Lucy, and thankful for the many memories we were able to create in the short time she was here.  Instantly, when we saw Lucy, Eric and I both said she resembles so much of her big sister, Sophie. Thank you Lord for this treasure. We find comfort in seeing Lucy in her big sister; this is His soothing gift of peace knowing she will always be in our family.

Everything about Lucy’s short life was graceful. Her labor was quick and it was peaceful. Her heart beat so strong and constant throughout our labor.  My little girl held on, our little Lucy surprised these doctors through and through.  When she arrived, there was instant silence, the entire room held their breath as the doctors detected her heartbeat. My Lucia was here! Her little body was so pink, so perfect, so delicate. Her head full of dark brown wavy hair, each strand lay perfectly placed on her head. Her little button nose and her big beautiful dark eyes, her tiny little mouth, her big pink cheeks I must have kissed every inch of this girl a hundred times. Her perfect little hands and feet, oh Lucy, we love you so.  Even her breathing, so light and she let out the slightest little sound, as if just to let us know she was here. We loved her, all of us, her whole family; we made that known to her for every portion of every second she was with us. 

We knew her heart was slowing, but there was so much joy within our hearts as we celebrated the sheer miracle of her birth.  And then just like that, as gracious as her entrance into this world, with no pain, no hurt, she went to sleep and woke up safely in the arms of our Heavenly Father.  She woke with her Father, healed and complete. Her heart was no longer deteriorating, it was whole and she was made well.

Lucy,

Thank you, my tiny dancer. Thank you for holding on for so long. Thank you for being so strong and so brave and for teaching me so much in the short time you were here.  Thank you for letting us meet you, and feel your breath on my face. Thank you for wrapping your little hand around my finger and not letting go. Thank you for the blessing you have been to this family. Thank you for letting me carry you and cuddle you for 37 weeks, and then giving me another 19 minutes after your birth. Thank you for all of those moments we shared together. Thank you for all the kicks, the butterflies, the comfort, sweet Lucy- Thank you for dancing for mommy. Thank you for being my daughter and letting me love you. 

Thank you for living in my heart forever.

Love,       

Mommy

I thank you, Lord, for giving me peace, for giving me strength, for this journey, for healing my Lucy.

A Bit of Sophie



For the life of us, we do not know what this poor koala did to deserve a time-out, but at least she provided him with a snack, right?

 Reading books with her daddy, this technique is also know to many as "avoiding naptime". Some of her favorites: Goodnight Moon, Are You Ticklish?, ALL THINGS by Eric Carle or Dr. Seuss, anything about babies, animals... and baby animals.

After book number 17 or so, she moved on to Spanish.

 Here's a snapshot we caught on the day she decided she will now go by Sophie Grace instead of plain ol' Sophie. In this photo, "Sophie, do you like to smile?"..."No. Sophie Grace won't smile."

We love you, Sophie Grace,  and we thank you daily for keeping us on our tippy-tippy-tippy-toes :)

37 Weeks, He said to her, “Talitha koum!”

Today our litte twinkle toes, our tiny dancer is a whole 37 weeks. Our baby girl is full term! This morning I prayed for all the of doctors who are involved with her arrival, I prayed that they not lose hope, or give up on her, and that they grow in faith after seeing the miracles that have already been performed in our sweet girl. 

And how perfectly fitting; in one of the devotionals I follow, today was on Mark 5:

 ²¹ When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake, a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake. ²² Then one of the synagogue leaders, named Jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet. ²³ He pleaded earnestly with him, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.” ²⁴ So Jesus went with him.
   A large crowd followed and pressed around him. ²⁵ And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. ²⁶ She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. ²⁷ When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, ²⁸ because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” ²⁹ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.
 ³⁰ At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”
 ³¹ “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”
 ³² But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. ³³ Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. ³⁴ He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
 ³⁵ While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?”

 ³⁶ Overhearing^[c] what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”

 ³⁷ He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James. ³⁸ When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. ³⁹ He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.” ⁴⁰ But they laughed at him.
   After he put them all out, he took the child’s father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. ⁴¹ He took her by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”). ⁴² Immediately the girl stood up and began to walk around (she was twelve years old). At this they were completely astonished. ⁴³ He gave strict orders not to let anyone know about this, and told them to give her something to eat.


How powerful, (Jairus' plead to Jesus), "My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live.”  I believe this for Lucy, I believe she will be healed by her maker, whether it is here or in heaven. I know our Father will say to my sweet Lucy, "Talitha Koum!" And she will get up, and be freed from her sickness.

My sweet, sweet Lucy-
Happy 37 weeks, my tiny dancer. Thank you for being extra alert and awake for us this morning and letting your little light shine bright. We celebrate you today, and cannot wait to meet you!

Love, Mommy

A Facebook Fast

*This is a repost of a (portion of) blog we had posted last week when Blogger was experiencing some technical glitches. It is about our decision to fast until our Lucia Faith makes her grand entrance. Breathe-- I am doing a partial fast and following all of my doctors recommendations.*

Now, 21 days, done. Twenty-one days of prayer and twenty one days of strengthening my focus on God.

So fasting, by definition, is always about food. It is about restricting food for a spiritual purpose (Hebrew). Fasting is about abstaining from food. (Greek). But what about all of those other things, those strong holds that occupy my time? What good would a fast be if you werent taking those moments to reflect or turn to God? I sat there and really thought about this one. What is something that I do on a continual basis that takes my time away from growing closer to God? You're right-- Housework!! :)

Ok, really-- Facebook. Or any other mindless "escape" that I get myself caught up in. My USweekly magazine, or celebrity gossip website, staying up an extra hour to catch the end of TMZ, to find out who the paparazzi ran into where, and WHO are they dating now... wait, wait, and more importantly, what were they wearing?!? I laughed as I thought about all of this. Really? Is THIS going to affect me more than food restriction? Me? The justifier of increasing our dining-out budget because I just HAVE to have Chuy's one more time this week or... I. Will. Just. Die.

But it is. It is affecting me. A couple days into this journey and I am profoundly affected by the scripture I have read, and the clarity I have found in prayer, and the in-depth conversations I have experience with my husband hearing about his experiences in his journey already. In addition to his partial fast, he has commited to a full fast, restricting all food and water every week when Lucy is to reach her new milestone. What I admire most about this man and his journey is you would never know he was fasting by looking at him. This sacrifice he is making to go to his Father in prayer for his baby girl, it simply takes my breath away. I thought of him, and prayed for him as I read this out of Matthew 6 this morning:

 ¹⁶ “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. ¹⁷ But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, ¹⁸ so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

The blog went on a little past here, and followed with prayer for our daughter, prayer for this fast, and prayer for our journey. We are now in our second week of the fast, and even more excited now to see what is in store!

Tomorrow... Lucy's 37th week marker!

36 Weeks, and Counting

This morning, over breakfast, our Lucy was dancing for her daddy. Yesterday evening, Sophie attacked her with freezing water from the sprinkler and she wiggled and jumped about. And last night, as I sat out on the back patio with all three of my babies, Dom came across and gave her a big brother hug and sweet kisses and told her he loved her. I could spend every one of my days like this.

Happy 36 weeks, my Lucia Faith. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms!

Love you,

Mommy

May 31st

We had another doctor's appointment today. Lucy is a little over 35 weeks, measuring pretty small, heart is still the same, although we had a few weird things going on with her heartbeat today. Her kidneys are still a concern, as are the unknowns about her lungs, still watching the fluid collection (hydrops) but our baby girl is still hanging on.

I was sad after the ultrasound because we didnt get a 3d peek at our baby. We had a new tech, and she seemed a bit nervous (I think she assumed we didnt know about everything she was seeing in her scan already). So a doctor would walk in, they would whisper, they'd walk out, tech would come back, another doctor in, more whispering, hand me a towel to dry off my goopy belly and then more whispering, walking out, doctor walks in, "OK Mr and Mrs Montoya, we are just seeing more of the same, your exam room is ready now." (insert smile and head tilt and off we go to our exam room.)

So here is a call for all of our prayer warriors.

Lucy and I have an induction date, May 31st. Please please please (please please) pray for Lucy. Pray for her to make it to this date. We want so badly to meet our precious baby girl, my tiny dancer, and hold her in our arms. I want to breathe her in and gaze into her eyes. I want her to meet her big brother and sister.  I want that image of this tiny baby cradled in her daddy's hands for that very first time. I want to see her squirms and wiggles and kicks, and catch a vision of what I have been feeling for months. I want her little hands wrapped around my pinky. I want to memorize every part of her tiny being. I want to brush through her wavy dark hair and kiss those adorable chubby cheeks we've been peeking at for months.

During the time that the doctor was talking to us about inducing @ 39 weeks, I froze. It made it all seem so final. Lucy is not going to be safely placed away in my womb forever, we are going to have to "deal".  It was at that moment, something that one of the beautiful girls in our Care Group said this week during our study was singing to my heart. She echoed a portion of our current Beth Moore Study and said, God gave us in our flesh the blessing of motherhood and children so we could catch a glimpse of how much He loves us. I LOVE Lucia SO much. I love the things I know of her already.  I love how she calms when I sway back and forth. How she dances around when she hears her siblings or her daddy nearby. And how she's a little shy with others. She likes fruit, and juice, and the smell of peppermint. She's a night owl. She shares my love for good music! She shares Sophia's sweet smile. She has a big heart, she has lots of things that make her special, some things that keep doctors on their toes. My Lucy is going to make her entrance into this world memorable. My Lucy, I love her more than I could ever express. I love her so much when I think of all the things I could potentially miss about her growing up, I ache. I love her so much that I would trade places with her in a heartbeat. And the part that kept echoing to me during this office visit is...

GOD loves me, he loves all of us, more than THAT! 

He loves me so much that HE doesnt leave my side during this or any other time in my life. 

He loves me so much that HE has blessed me with peace in a way that does not make any sense.

He loves me so much that HE chose me to be a mom to Lucy Sophie and Dom, to care for HIS precious gifts.

He loves me so much that HE watched HIS son die on a cross.

We ask everyone to join us in our prayerful countdown to Lucy's arrival. Gather your prayer friends and your prayer warriors and please share. Please pray over the timing. Please pray over Lucia's tiny body and her big beautiful heart. Please pray over the doctors (Doctor Kase, Doctor Monga, and any other doctors involved in her arrival). Please pray over the staff, please pray for peace concerning Lucy with my family (My mom, my sisters Delia and Edna, Eric's Parents Mirtha and Beto, his siblings Debbie Elda Mark and Josh), please pray for understanding with our kids of whatever is to come... Please pray for everyone who reads our prayer for our daughter to know, no matter what happens with Lucia Faith, His love endures forever. 

"The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; His love endures forever." Psalm 138:8

Team Lucy's Light Marches for Babies 2011

March for Babies Team Lucy's Light 2011 "This Little Light of Mine"

I have been struggling the past couple of days to post a blog about our March of Dimes experience. Not out of lack of desire, but because I cannot find the words to express how proud we are of this team, and I cannot find the words to express the gratitude we feel towards everyone who joined us, who walked with us, who donated to March of Dimes, who spread the word about the team, who prayed for baby Lucy.

Grandma, Aunt Dee Dee, Tia Nita, Daddy/Mommy, Dom, Sophie *and baby Lucy

So I say, simply, Thank You, We love you all and we hope you join us again next year!

Reba and Sophie showing off their tutu's

That morning, our early bird walkers met up to take this team picture. There were so many teams there! I think I heard somewhere around 40,000 registered walkers. Our team was made up of approximately 80 walkers who came out that morning. (And here I thought, I didn't even KNOW 80 people!) We were made up of family, even family that traveled to be here just for the event, our friends, our CARE group, coworkers, former coworkers, people who heard about Lucy's Light through friends of friends of friends... These super troopers raised over $7,000 for March of Dimes!

Lucy's Grandma & Grandpa with our Montoya Family showing support

Lucy's Light started because we wanted to do something meaningful, something positive in the midst of everything that was going on with Lucy at the time. When we started this team, we had the idea that our immediate families would walk with us, maybe a team of 10, and we'd collect maybe 500 bucks, tops.  We had no idea this team would take off the way that it did, or that so many people would support this wonderful cause with us. We were blown away by the contributions and the prayers and the encouragement that started pouring in immediately after starting the team.

We have been so blessed to meet other family teams this year. These graceful families that shared a bit of their babies with us made it a million times more real. I see these families who have already experienced their loss, these same families that encourage us to keep fighting for Lucy, and the ones that tell us never to give up.  These parents, they take my breath away. So inspirational, each of them offering so much hope, all of them just strengthening my faith in God.

One grandmother tells me her daughter's baby was given the same prognosis as Lucy, yet they were able to spend an entire week with their sweet baby before she passed. She talked to me about all the family that was able to meet their baby and the memories they made. I want this for Lucy, I want this for our families.  This grandmother isnt alone, so many parents shared similar stories with us. So many families spoke to me with such peace.

He brings them peace, they bring my comfort, He calls me closer to Him. 

This walk has changed me... has encouraged me to go bigger next year. I want to raise more money and meet more families and make an impact, in honor of our little Lucy. I write this blog on the day that marks Lucy's 35th week, and no matter what is written for Lucy, or how many more days/weeks we have left, Lucy's Light will shine for March of Dimes for years and years to come. 

Thank you again, team Lucy's Light-- we hope to see you all again next year!

The Things We Can Learn From Our Kids

Jr. Camera-Man, Dominic @ March for Babies

If my children remember anything of their childhood when they are all grown up, they will remember we went ALL OUT for birthdays. I love celebrating my babies! One year, Dominic wanted to keep his decorations up all month... we went even further and kept them up for about until Christmas (over 6 months!). When Dom was one, we coined the term, Domapalooza. Domapalooza happens in stages. There is the Classroom Party, the Family Birthday Dinner (With Aunt Dee Dee, Grandma and Tia 'Nita), the ACTUAL Birthday Party, the Dominic's-Day-of-Fun-on-his-Birthday-Day, and then usually a little something extra with just Mom, Dad, Sophie (and baby Lucia).  

I love celebrating these kids, because it is just as much a celebration for us as it is for them. We celebrate the fact that we were chosen as parents, that these children are gifts from God, that they are more precious than any other achievement, and well, we REALLY like birthday cake! 

I've written before about Dominic being an extra special kid. And this year's birthday, he amazed me once again. Dominic chose to celebrate his birthday-day @ Chic Fil A to support Tyson vs. Cancer, an event put on for a member of our church who is battling cancer. He figured if everyone was going to get together for dinner on his birthday, we should go have dinner at Chic Fil A to contribute to this fundraiser. We had a great time, great company, great memories and great music. (And Sophie and I made off with a basket full of hair bows from an auction item!!)

I think the most special moment we shared at the event was when Lucy started rockin' out and Dominic felt her in my tummy. His eyes were so wide, and I smiled inside and out to picture my baby boy dancing with his little sister on his birthday. What a glorious moment!


My kiddo's got a big heart, and I am so happy that he is learning the importance of supporting genuine causes and helping others. I think this year, MOMMY received the biggest and best gift of all!